What Sex and the City Can Teach Us About Female Friendships

You can’t deny the popularity of television show Sex and the City. Somewhat of a cultural phenomenon in the late ‘90s/early 00s, the success of the show left some critics baffled at its popularity.

The truth is, the show was popular because most modern women were able to relate to some of the situations the female characters found themselves in. 

Sure, the fabulous apartments, expensive shoe collection and cheap laughs and innuendo-filled gags did (at times) take away from the realism of the show but generally, a lot of single career women could relate to the relationship woes featured in the show.

The lasting effect of the series is that now, a lot of females aspire to the "Sex and the City lifestyle" – the great jobs, the great apartments, the glam wardrobe, going out for cocktails etc. 

Life imitating art. Happily. Cheers. X sj

A photo posted by SJP (@sarahjessicaparker) on Aug 4, 2015 at 8:03pm PDT

But it seems a lot of women are forgetting to aspire to one key component of the show: the strong female friendships.

The mishaps with men and relationships that each character dealt with were only tolerable because of these iron-clad friendships. Otherwise the girls, with very little mention of an extended family, would be completely alone. Which would have made for a very depressing TV show.

Image credit: ambroochizafer

Many critics of the show also failed to see the likability of not only the show, but its lead character too - Carrie Bradshaw. Indeed, she is a flawed character. But she’s also witty, charming, generous, forgiving…and there for her friends at the drop of a hat. And I think these types of friendships are what women should be aspiring to, along with the superficial aspects of the show.

Instead of bitching about each other, being judgemental and tearing one another down, I think us females would do well to try and be genuine, supportive and open minded instead. A recent experience of mine left me echoing this sentiment even more; I just don’t understand why people needlessly bitch about someone that has given them absolutely no reason to? Someone they don’t even know all that well and has been nothing but nice to them.

I know that most of the time, these types of people have issues of their own and are generally insecure. That’s why they have to cr*p on other people.

Granted, you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but why insult someone behind their back ESPECIALLY if you have a friend in common? Maturity is recognising people are different, that you’re not going to be besties with everyone but being as gentle and graceful about it as possible.

I think a lot of issues that arise from female bonds are escalated because of an inability to deal with disagreements. I don’t think social media helps.

But it's important to remember that with long term friendships, arguments and tiffs will happen. It’s not the end of the world and it doesn’t mean you have to cut each other out forever. Give each other a little space to cool off, then talk about the situation, resolve it and then move on instead of holding a grudge (unless the person is truly toxic – in that case, you’re probably best dropping them for good).

And for the love of god, don’t drop your friends as soon as a guy enters the picture. We've all had that friend, who is suddenly "too busy" to hang out. Too busy because they’re suddenly spending every spare moment with a guy they met two weeks ago.

I get it, you will be less available if you have to make time to date, especially if it’s a romantic prospect that looks promising. But don’t let your social life lapse entirely as a result. I rarely see romantic situations like this work out, unless the girl is with a guy who is just as clingy and codependent as her.

I think as you get older, you just want to be around genuinely decent and honest people. Realistically, how much fun can you have with people who bitch-about or bully every new person they meet? If people want to talk sh*t about each other and then pretend that they’re best friends, leave them to mingle with each other I’d say. These friendships will only serve to drain you.

Instead, look for your own Carrie, Miranda, Samantha or Charlotte.